Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
