Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
