It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
