Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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