Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
