I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize