my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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