Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize