The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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