i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I lost the right to judge tonight
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize