that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
