I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
