Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
accomplished twins. life is a go
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
