you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
she pinky promised me she was 18
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Randomize
