I am spending my child support on dildos
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize