just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
