Only a mothe r could love this liver
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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