After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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