I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
