Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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