You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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