if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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