I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
