I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
