he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
