Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Randomize
