His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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