they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
