dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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