Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize