you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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