I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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