Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize