"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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