ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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