i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
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