there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize