I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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