College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Everclear isn't food dammit
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
