There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I queefed so loud it echoed.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
