why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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