Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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