3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
