It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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