she takes plan B like it's going out of style
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
