the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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