used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
