im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
