I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
