u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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