eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
