I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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