Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
