Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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